Help please?

I split with my gf just before christmas, i still love her and went to get her back, i think she still loves me too, the reason we split is because i was a lazy **** basicly i never took her out never got her anything an any bit of money i had i would spend it on a stupid dvd, but now ive changed and i want to take her places, shopping, out for meals, cinema, days out anywhere and holidays i could just go on an on where i would like to take her i have changed but she doesnt believe me, im buying her flowers tomoz and getting them delivered to work for her i know thats not enough, any advice, be as honest as possible even if it sounds nasty or a bit brutal ill still try an take it as advice, thanks poeple.

Help please?
There's no harm in trying to win back her affections, as long as you are prepared that you may end up looking a fool.



It's not just the material things and gifts that was missing in the relationship, ie. flowers, candy, fancy restaurants etc.

It's the want to want to show ur gf how much you love her and appreciate her.

You didn't do anything special for her before, because you didn't want to, simple as that.

Now, if you want to get her back, you have to make a grand gesture and then keep it up, of showing that you appreciate her every single day - are you prepared to work that hard?

And if so, ask yourself why you have to work at showing your appreciation? Maybe you don't reaaally love her, you just don't want to be without her cause you don't want to be single? Then that would be a really dumb reason for getting back together.

Showing her your affection and appreciation doesn't just have to be through gifts and fancy date only (but sometimes is good) you can listen to her and talk to her, really be interested in what she has to say, her opinions, and what she wants out of life. Give her massages and foot rubs, lots of hugs and kisses. Turn off the football or movie to spend time with her instead. Take her to the park for a picnic that you cooked yourself. Surprise her with your talents in the kitchen. Know her favourite flowers, colour, perfume, birthday etc.

At the end, if you don't really like doing all these things for her, or even just being genuinely interested in HER, then something is wrong and you shouldn't be wasting her time, or yours. Give it a go, without becoming obsessive or stalkery. If she lets you have a second chance, my advice is don't waste it and really appreciate her this time. If she doesn't, then you will just have to let her go and move on, chum. Work on yourself again and practice being single for a while. Make yourself more interesting by working out and developing hobbies and interests besides dvds, pizza and beer (stereotype, i know :oP) If she's not the one for you, you will find her eventually. Good luck x x x
Reply:If you were really that cheap and lazy she may think you broke up with her so you wouldn't have to get her a Christmas present.



I suggest dating. As in you invite her to go somewhere and do something (not just hang out) and you get to see her when she says yes. Keep trying to invite her places you think she'll like. Continue to do so even if you get back together.
Reply:How can you change in less then a month.Move on .



You give me a thumbs down.When your the one that didn't even come close to what really happened and how long you were working on changing.

Oh and one important part you left out to was, you didn't say you were engaged and together for 3 years
Reply:its a start....just be aman and admit you were wrong and she was right...but keep in mind if shes moved on your gonna have to deal with that too.
Reply:man just dont be lazy and take her to dates some movies that are romantic and horor man i wish the best of luck
Reply:Do you really want to be in a relationship where you have to continually *prove* your love.

You have told her you still love her.

She doesn't believe you.

Chances are she never will.



Things will seem a lot clearer with more time.
Reply:Good for you that you have realised you made a big mistake, but are you sure that the temporary shock of being dumped is not having a short time effect? It may be that if you do get together again , you may start to take her for granted after a while. The thing is, if you really love her, why would you treat her this way for 3 years? Doesn't sound like love, really. It's not surprising that she doesn't believe you. I f I were you I would take it very slowly. Don' t push to get back together straight away. See her as a friend, and treat her with respect and love. At least if she sees that you like being with her without an obvious agenda, she might start to take you seriously again. Don't overdo the gestures either, just really listen to her, support her and care for her. Sending flowers is easy, really loving someone is something much harder. She will know the difference.
Reply:A Leopard can not change it's spots. No one should try to change their personality, it goes against the grain and you end in turmoil. Were you always the same way, ie lazy and selfish, in this relationship, or were you different in the beginning and maybe your relationship got a bit stale. If you were more caring and sharing at first then yes go back to being just that, if you were the same then as now then I would say she accepted you for what you are and should not expect you to change now.
Reply:Hi .The way to do it is to date her once or twice a week ...With or without sex does not matter...But remember you are a free man date other girls as well ....But don't let her know about it .

Together for 3 years and she breaks up over something stuped ....I am sure that you relationship is far from perfect ...And that regular sex died like long ago...You acted that way towards her course that is what she brought out in you.Find your self that special girl that would bring out the best in you

Regards

Andre