Pregnant and Valentine's Day?

I just wanted to get some feedback/advice/outlook from preggy mommies out there. So here we go:



I'm currently 33 weeks pregnant and my husband is living in another state currently. His father passed away a couple of months ago and his mother isn't doing well health wise. We decided to move back to his hometown, but I let him go first because I am still working and I didn't want to leave my doctor currently. He is coming back to in 2 weeks to prepare for my labor. I found out yesterday afternoon that he had ordered some flowers for a high school friend of his, who is female, that we found was ill 4 months ago. He ordered the flowers to be delivered for Valentine's Day. I got upset and he then told me that he cancelled the order the same day he placed it. I've been really upset about it, and he has been upset with me as well because he says I am blowing things out of proportion.

Pregnant and Valentine's Day?
It depends on how you found out. If he didnt tell you himself, I'd say its odd. He should have discussed it with you beforehand so that if it really was a "get well" thing you could send the flowers together as a couples. For example the card would have read: "hope you feel better. signed Mr. %26amp; Mrs. Smith"

But I must say, four months IS a little late for flowers plus why would he lie about canceling it. If he has a shady history with you, then I wouldnt trust it. Its the dishonesty that bugs me.
Reply:Did he order you flowers? No i think you have a right to be upset, it is one thing to do something nice for a friend who is ill, but he should have sent them on another day, not V-day!!! I would prob be upset too, but he may not really mean anything by it, just being nice, but the friend might get the wrong idea too!!! Sorry you v-day stunk, i am sure it will all work out!! Good luck!!!
Reply:Sending flowers to a sick friend is a sweet gesture but why didn't he just talk to you about it first. Sending them on Valentine's is pretty major. I would be pissed too! Have a serious talk with him and let him know how you feel and tell him he should have enough respect for you to not go behind your back on something like that if it IS just an innocent gesture. I'd keep my eye on him too! Good luck, hope everything works out well!
Reply:i agree. your husband shouldnt send flowers to another woman. howd u know?? did he tell you himself? if not... why did he hide it ? he couldve sent the flowers and told you. he couldve written on the card .

dear so and so ...

hope you're feeling better.

and happy valentines day.

sincerely/love

his name + your name





that wouldve been reasonable. then id think you were overreacting. but you are absolutely right in this situation. regardless of a cancellation, he made the order to begin with. there fore she was on his mind.
Reply:You are not over-reacting! He is married to you - sending flowers to any other woman is out of line - especially on Valentine's Day. If he found out she was sick 4 months ago why would he have waited til now to send the flowers?? Did he send you flowers????
Reply:i can understand sending flowers to a sick friend when you find out theyre sick, not 4 months later and especailly on valentines day, and most definatly when he didnt even think about ordering you some also. you are not overreacting, i would act the exact same way (maybe with more yelling, but thats me) whether or not i was pregnant. first of all, does she live in the same state that he moved to? cuz if she does then you most definatly have a right to be pissed off at him, because maybe (not saying it is) some other things are going on... i hope everything turns out well.



and remind him pregnant people are allowed to have emotions too, especailly when theyre 33 weeks.
Reply:i would be completely mad too. he should never do that on valentines day, if it was just a friendly gesture he should have done it on another day and asked you before placing the order. and yes i would be suspicious , anytime a guy tells you, you are blowing things out of proportion, they most likely are hiding something. if they weren't they would see that you are upset and try to make you feel more confident about your relationship with him. im not sure what advice to give you, being pregnant and potentially breaking up with the father would be hard, seek into it more, i guess. sorry.
Reply:I think you're over-reacting. Sending flowers to an ILL friend is a nice gesture, no matter if it was Valentine's Day or not. I think your husband was just trying to be nice and supportive of her. Unless he's given you other reasons to think something is up then just let it go. The only thing I might have been upset about was that he lied about cancelling the order.



You have to pick your battles, especially in marriage. Is this worth you two fighting over?
Reply:You're absolutely right to be upset. If I found out that my husband sent flowers to another girl, sick or not, on Valentine's Day (unless they were his mother or grandmother), I would be extremely ticked off. And to top it off, lying to you about cancelling the order - well, that's just going to show that he is hiding something. If he has to lie about a situation, then he is nervous about the truth. If a man is in a solid relationship, he should never, ever send another girl flowers on Valentine's Day - for any reason whatsoever.



I'm really sorry that you have been losing sleep over this - and really sorry that he did this to you. But you are definitely not blowing this out of proportion, and you have to be firm with him and tell him that what he did was wrong, it hurt you and you will not tolerate that kind of "honesty". If he wants to be the best dad and husband he can be, he needs to shape up. And suggest that maybe next time he could send a non-romantic get well card to his sick friend, but not on Valentine's Day.



Hope things work out for you!
Reply:No your not over reacting..he is your husband he shouldnt be sending other women flowers..i could understand if it was that she was sick but you said yall found that out 4months ago..why is he waiting until valentines day to send the flowers.

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