Ok now what?

well after many weeks of continual arguing and my wife threatning to leave. today i decide that i wanted to surrender my pride and unfounded suspicion of infidelity and move on. i had a dozen of red roses and a nice gift delivered to the house while i was gone to the gym!! well needless to say i am somewhat disappointed in the outcome. she told me that she appreciated the flowers, but "not to send her anymore". so what now? do i just hang around until she actually leaves? do i leave? or what??? for a otherwise intelligent man(I AM AN ENGINEER BY TRADE) i am at a loss as to what to do next. i would just like to take her in my arms and let things go, but i am afraid she might get mad as hell and have me arrested for something. and yes i did write her a letter with the flowers expressing my desire to work things out i have even sent her e-mails trying to talk, but she just ignore them!! so what now?? we havent had se in over 3 weeks because she wont let me touch her! so wHAT NOW??

Ok now what?
So let me get this straight. Are you saying that she's leaving you because you keep accusing her of something she didn't do? Well, you can only accuse so much before your spouse gets very tired of it.



Sounds like she is wanting some space from you so give her some space. Another thing, you have to show her that you are making an honest effort to change your paranoid ways. I just hope it's not too late.
Reply:Sounds like you need Dr. Laura - you both do. Check out her website (I think it is Dr. Laura .com, but google it just to make sure.) Tell you wife in a note what you felt when you first married her. Tell her you need help and will do anything to "fix" it. Then, enter therapy - as a single person with a mariage and family therapist of YOUR choosing. When you feel ready drag your bratty wife in so she can "explain to the Dr. why you are a !@#$%^%26amp;*". Then the therapist can begin working on her. She sounds immature, petty and selfish. If you can get her not to be defensive, she might be able to grow into a more adult human being. Marraige is like a garden, there are alot of weeds that are not noticed until you get to a particular 'row'. Dr. Laura will give you great advice (I suggest a phone call on Mon. AM) and you should go and get 2 books - '10 Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives' and (keep this next one well hidden until your wife is ready for it) 'The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands'. Good Luck. One more thing. Have family prayer and ask God to bless your marriage and family. If she won't pray with you, pray in your heart.
Reply:first im a wife



i would say that you need to back off

tell her you love her and you want to work things out.....pretty much tell her what you said here



"i would just like to take her in my arms and let things go"



then tell her that youre not going to push her

you know that you cant MAKE her do anything and that shes going to do whatever she feels (im refering to leaving and all...never is it ok fo affairs)



and then just kind of dont try

dont leave or ignore her

but dont push

let her figure out what it is that shes doing.....

now i say this under the assumption that youve tried to get her to tell you why she doesnt want to talk to you and all of that....ask her if she feels that youve done her wrong in some way



good luck



sorry for your situation



and pray obviously
Reply:dont leave the house, she is the difficult ine, let her leave and you stay